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Last update: 7/12/15

This portrait is from a 1966 photo, a period of deep unhappiness in Lennon’s life during which his suburban domesticity with first wife Cynthia was being punctuated by vacuous ‘one night stands’, interesting affairs,’ and the endless grind of “Beatlemania.” He was experimenting with hard contact lenses at this point in his life to counteract his chronic myopia. Like many people he was constantly losing them; hence the introduction of the national health spectacles the following year.

This is one of the harder commentaries for me to write because professionally Lennon is one of my all time heroes, and yet I cannot consistently make excuses for the man.

It’s fair to say that he was an artist in the truest sense of the word – a musician, songwriter, filmmaker, poet and painter. It’s also fair to say that he could have emerged in any one of these mediums as a star, although I would perhaps question his “traditional” artistic talent as he did not publish any conventional “still life” work. McCartney maintains that his partner never veered too far from grotesque yet hilarious caricatures, whilst his erotic lithographs give us no further clues as to the true limitations of his ability in this area.

I’m nitpicking though, for it’s fair to say that the rock industry misses someone of his stature. It was clear to Maureen Cleave of the London Evening Standard that he was extensively reading by 1966, and as if to prove his assertion at the time that “Jesus was alright but his disciples were ‘thick and ordinary’ the Vatican saw fit in 2008 to publicly pardon his religious comment that The Beatles were (quote) “more popular than Jesus”. Once again it appeared as if all too many people had completely missed the point. As Lennon himself admitted “If I’d said television was more popular I might have got away with it.” During the course of a “Beatles – Reporting ’66” TV news item (available via YouTube), one young American fan stands apart from her teenage peers seeing neither any need to 1) burn her Beatle records nor 2) denounce Lennon as a heretic. She actually gets the gist of his message that Christianity and organised religion were in decline and that Lennon was deploring a fact that was (quote) “more true for England than perhaps over here”. I doubt he would ordinarily have drawn any distinction between the two countries but he was due to appear in performance in the Bible Belt shortly afterwards, a region previously referred to as “nut country” by President Kennedy so he will have been frightened.

Lennon wrote of his hurt and anger over the public’s reaction to his love affair with Yoko in his book “Skywriting by word of mouth” which was posthumously issued in 1986. There had only been one previous high profile mixed ethnic marriage in show business, namely John Dankworth and Cleo Laine and they suffered nothing similar by way of vitriolic press coverage. Yoko was described as “ugly” which she most certainly is not. Compare her wedding outfit in 1969 to an appearance at the 1981 Grammy awards in a charming white design and a considerably shorter hairstyle, and you have the contrasted visual ingredients in place for a much less antagonistic individual. But that’s our problem. At the end of the day, the hate campaign against her would have driven any sane man to seek refuge in another country. This is the British psyche though. We build our idols up and then destroy them with some considerable relish. The appalling treatment of Elton John by the Sun newspaper in the late 80’s was a point in question. In America provided they behave themselves entertainment stars remain venerated until death.

So what are we to make of Lennon the man, from the numerous sources available? Central to any answer is his love for, and treatment of, Yoko Ono. It is evident that by the time of his death at 40, there were still question marks hovering over his marriage. On the plus side he steadfastly refused any record industry entreaties to represent himself as a solo artist prior to releasing “Double Fantasy” and yet he was still in contact with Man Pang, his paramour from the mid 70’s. Throughout his years with Yoko, he displayed an inability to put his priorities in order, and seemingly bowed to subtle pressure from his wife over very important issues upon which he should have stood his ground. Failure to see his son from his first marriage for nearly three years, whilst seemingly prepared to trawl the four corners of the globe searching for his stepdaughter Kyoko, is a point in question. Such ‘commitment to the cause’ probably maintained domestic tranquillity at home if my “reading of women” is correct, but the experience will have done nothing for Lennon. In her worst moments Yoko may have felt her husband should also experience estrangement from a child, a natural but misguided emotion borne out of frustration. Perhaps there were heightened emotional scenes over this familial unhappiness but we should not presume for the ability to forge a new life and to neglect children from previous liaisons is a common and deplorable behavioural theme in men’s lives. There is also the suspicion that the longer Lennon remained estranged from his son the harder the thought of effecting reconciliation became.

Nevertheless, with suitable promptings from May Pang, contact with his first son Julian was re-established during his 18 month estrangement from Yoko. This however, would have left his wife with the difficult task of “going along with things” for the sake of domestic harmony once the couple reunited in 1975. Whatever pangs of jealousy she may have felt over the loss of access to her own daughter she could no longer subliminally ‘encourage’ Lennon’s inertia towards his son for fear of betraying a less than complimentary aspect to her personality. Nevertheless father and son reunions were not exactly frequent and by all accounts Julian only saw John once in the last year of his life. Many years later Yoko would be reunited with her daughter and presented with a grandchild whilst Julian would be left to reflect on paternal abandonment, both emotional and physical; a salutary reminder to us all of the “impermanency of life” and the irrationality of our actions through the years.

Determining the myriad of reasons for the couple putting their marriage back on track is difficult, yet there were undeniably practical aspects to consider. In her book about John, “Instamatic Karma,” May Pang recalls Lennon discussing immigration as a primary factor, and his wife may indeed have felt their legal position with the immigration authorities being irretrievably weakened if they stayed apart. Yet ‘Mrs lennon’ had been told as early as 1973 that she could stay in America as she already had US citizenship; it was only her husband who had to leave because of his 1968 UK conviction for possession of marijuana cannabis resin. So this argument in favour of a reunion never held up. I would also defend Ono’s stance on her husband when he was recklessly carousing Los Angeles during their eighteen month estrangement. One telephone overture after another from friends of the ex-Beatle imploring her to take him back was forcefully declined. After all, she had been the dragon lady who had separated him from all his cronies years earlier; now she felt, was the time for them to deal with his daily idiosyncracies. I unequivocably defend her thinking here and without doubt, whatever his recent personal demons, Lennon seemed to recognise the oblivion laying in wait for him if he didn’t choose to build a family life. However the PR image of him as a house husband doesn’t entirely ring true. The couple knew how to work the press, and the notion of a rock superstar leaving his guitar hanging on the wall untouched for five years to raise his son was newsworthy. In truth he was refining songs begun in 74/75, recording substantial home based piano/guitar demos. The process was tortuous with the end result barely justifying the wait. In truth the two recordings that hint at a fully fledged revival of his artistic muse are not to be found on “Double Fantasy.” Check out “Serve Yourself,” one of Lennon’s Burmuda based recordings from the summer of 1980, in which he rails against everything from mothers to organised religion. If that’s not enough to convince you he hadn’t become a soft bellied pudding, then listen to his wonderfully organic grunge guitar solo on Yoko’s “Walking on thin ice,” the recording he was working on the night of his murder. It’s powerful stuff.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2008/dec/21/yoko-ono-art-lennon

I don’t know what Lennon would have chosen to do with his life had he lived. He still needed a woman who would “pamper to his ego” and hence the continuing relationship with Pang, which denied the young Chinese American girl the opportunity to fully move on with her emotional life.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_Pang

Yoko was addressed as “mother” which clearly reflected his need for an authority figure in his life, a surrogate Aunt Mimi no less, for his wayward mother never offered such necessary guidance in his life. May would expect him to fetch the sunday newspapers whilst Yoko would have them delivered. May offered abandonment in the bedroom whilst Ono offered intellectual stimulation. Life was too dangerous to begin a new affair so Ono consumed her daily life with family business matters and finances and Lennon ‘tripped off’ on his own adventures. Yes there was quality time with his new son but nonetheless a household full of assistants and a nanny when he needed to disappear from sight. Yoko began a relationship with undue haste after her husband’s death or perhaps it was one that escalated in intensity after the events of December 8, 1980. Whichever way one looks at it, the marriage was not a devoted one of the like enjoyed by his ex songwriting partner.

As for May, it’s obvious that she was infatuated with him, and it’s apparent that in many ways she was good for him. She would have made a proper home for them, and encouraged further his relationship with Julian. She inoffensively cajoled him into a tentative raprochement with McCartney (the couple were due to spend time in New Orleans assisting Wings in the recording of “Venus & Mars”) but Lennon would opt instead for a return to the Dakota and Yoko.

The following article substantiates the New Orleans story. When it came to prior marriages there remains little doubt that Yoko feared McCartney far more than Cynthia.

http://www.earcandymag.com/maypang-2005.htm

Interviews with parties associated with Lennon suggest that either the Pang affair was little more than a distraction for him, or the best thing that ever happened in his life. The reality clearly lies somewhere between these extremes, yet at the end of the day Lennon chose to live again with Yoko.

As for his life today, had he lived, I think he would have loved the ‘immediacy’ of the internet since writing, recording, mixing, mastering and issuing his single “Instant Karma” within a week symbolised his desire for instantaneous communication. He was after all a media junkie. I also hope he might have moderated his macrobiotic diet since he was painfully thin at the end, and it did nothing for his looks. He always needed more weight on his face to look at his best. This point is well illustrated throughout the “Imagine” recording sessions and with the heroin habit long kicked into touch, his appearance is a pleasing reminder of his “boy Beatle” days. As I mentioned earlier, my pencil portrait of him dates from 1966 whilst he was recording the “Revolver” album. He would later refer to his “fat Elvis” period. Well if his waistline was a trifle expansive, the upside of that source of personal annoyance was a healthy facial appearance. Within months however, he would be back in the States facing a media backlash over his religious comments, and looking considerably thinner. Palpable fear and too many acid trips perhaps.

He wasn’t ready to die, and I regret the manner of his passing. He wasn’t even accorded sufficient respect to be taken out “in the blink of an eye”. He bled to death over the course of twenty minutes and knew what was happening to himself. “Do you know who you are?” asked the on duty police officer whilst rushing him to Roosevelt hospital. “John Lennon” came the reply. He was dead on arrival.

Twelve years later, Larry King on his US talk show interviewed his killer on a telecast from prison. It incenses me. A programme like this titillates certain members of the public, and fuels the very sense of infamy sought by deranged individuals. I won’t mention his name since he effectively ‘widowed’ his own young wife by his actions, and is unlikely to ever be released. Oh and no, I refuse to watch the programme on YouTube. Every time a certain fascination about this interview grips me – I am ashamed to even admit to this failing – I move on and listen to Lennon instead.

His was a life punctuated by extreme emotional traumas – parental abandonment on both sides (there is a suggestion in recent biographies that his father’s reputation requires a degree of favourable revisionism), the early losses of his beloved Uncle George, his best friend Stuart Sutcliffe at the age of twenty one and then of course his mentor Brian Epstein. As an impressionable teenager he also endured the agony of having an extremely attractive mother who was irresponsible and (if several key sources are to be believed), promiscuous. Any parent with “form” in that area will seriously distort a child’s sense of moral values, the ramifications of which can takes years to fully emerge.

So in Lennon’s case, the outward signs of swagger and vitriolic wit seemingly hid an innate inner sentimentality. A man therefore who was kindness itself and also a monster, but should friends and loved ones be compelled to endure such extremes? He clearly felt so.

In the final analysis he still makes me happy, and happiness is intrinsically a temporal state of mind. I just remember having my first guitar at four, and listening to those vinyl records that somehow could make the hairs on the back of my neck stand out. Since Paul McCartney can never stop talking about him, I sometimes feel he’s still here.